Sunday, 17 January 2010

Health warning - seriously self indulgent post

Feel free to ignore this post folks but I need to get something off my chest.

I've been in a corner licking my wounds this week.

I have to apply for a job at the grade below that which I have been doing for the last 18 months. I feel degraded and de-graded and utterly dispensible.

I'm lucky to have a job

I'm lucky to have a job

I'm lucky to have a job

I keep telling myself this. I also keep telling myself that they are lucky to have me.

I've told them I will do the higher grade job for the lower pay - just to hang on to my sanity. And they would like me to do that - but I "still have to apply".

But today I must complete an application form to compete against others on the same team (of 6) as 2 of us will be out of a job.

And why am I doing this on a Sunday? - so that the application doesn't impact on "business as usual".

I wrote that this morning before I thought "No, I must go to an indoor car boot". I hadn't indoor booted before (I'm a March to November outdoor booter!)

And I probably won't do it again. I felt as if I needed scrubbing down with a yard brush afterwards. This was not a nice car boot.

Displacement obviously.

I counted my blankets (Ebay free listing day called) - stopped counting at 25 due to guilt. How many blankets do I need I asked Gorgeous Girl. 6! came the answer - 2 for each bed and 2 to snuggle under. Hmm - double it I thought... And I took pictures ready for listing and comforted myself with images of my eiderdowns.

But the form waited.

What did I buy at the boot? 3 large bags of interesting looking stamps. Those who read this blog know my affinity with stamps.

Came home - ripped bags open.

Only to find I'd been duped into buying bags of first and second class everyday queens head definitive stamps. Marvellous.

Tried to work on form. Failed miserably.

Tried to make a nice meal but it fell off the dish into the back of the oven. Not good.

And still the form waits...

Off to hurl myself on that rather inviting pile of eiderdowns and beat the hell out of them.

Sorry guys - normally don't do the self indulgent thing on my blog but today I needed to. Feel free to give me a cyber kick up the backside.

Hope you had a good weekend

Love Wend


  1. Hello oh gosh what a bad weekend you have had sorry to hear you are having difficulties at work I know these hard times are hitting everyone but when retail therapy kicks you when your down is when your in trouble I cant believe people sometimes.
    Please be careful with that beautiful pile of eiderdowns I am sure everything will work out ok
    in the end

  2. So sorry to hear that you are going through bad times and hope things will look brighter soon. Speaking from my great experience - well I am 65! - I have to tell you that things usually DO work out for the best in the end and that you WILL look back on this time and see that if this hadn't happened then something good which is in the wings waiting couldn't have happened either. I do so hope I am right in this case too!

    Thinking of you and hoping you got the beastly form filled in and wishing you good luck at the interview.

    You probably need a good hug so here is a cyber one!


  3. Poor you, sounds like you're having a rotten time. It can only get better, tough, can't it?

  4. I know the feeling.I had to go from being my own boss to being employed again,and taking a position as an assistant rather than a manager,not easy.Hope it all works out for you...and be gentle on those GORGEOUS eiderdowns!

  5. NOT a good day for you........ sorry to hear it. There is always something better round the corner (although it doesn't always seem like it).

  6. You need chocolate!
    Sorry to hear you're in a bad place. Hope everything turns around for the better soon. xx

  7. Sounds awful, I get days like that when its just one thing after another.I take stock and think that my family and I are healthy, and we do scrape by, life could be easier but it could also be a lot harder!
    Cheer up chicken!

  8. EEEWWW! that WAS a bad day! Hope you got the Horrible Form out of the way in the end. Lots of love and a big hug. Amanda xxx

  9. Oh dear! So sorry to hear that your weekend was not a good has your Monday been? Hope things are better this week and that you've got that horrible form filling over and done with! Gorgeous eiderdowns by the way! Chin up Wend, Rebecca x

  10. I hope a good nights sleep has helped. As others have said things do seem to have a way of working out. Eiderdowns are gorgeous.
    Keep smiling.

  11. I think this is a brilliant post!
    Too much blogging is just about how great and pretty things are...which inevitably they aren't always, even if you're a 'glass half full girl': single parenting and financial/work stuff is exhausting...I know that personally, and to read your witty honesty really does me good. I can't even bring myself to tell you what my part-time job is when I'm that out-of-work-actress with no 'skills''s your creativity which keeps you going, and these bad days are needed, for the good ones to be as good as they often are.
    Much sympathy...and it will pass...
    x Philippa

  12. Good to get it off your chest - don't worry - who can you tell if not your blogging friends? We all have times like that.

    Hope things get better - keep smiling!

  13. Wendy you carry on beating those eiderdowns...It is good to get things off your chest and not bottle them up - go for it girl. Hope you get the job.

  14. i know i shouldn't but i laughed out loud at the image of poor you and your disappearing dinner! when bad things happen why does it seem they come in multiples...feeling your pain is true that you can't get up without feeling down so at least there's something to look forward to.. virtual hugs and best wishes for the job and boo to those pesky bosses........don't know if i told you already but loving your new banner....

  15. Oh, what a day! I do so hope that today has been a brighter one for you, and that the whole crazy job business resolves itself properly.

  16. Poor you, sounds like a crap situation. Hope things get better soon. Lizzie

  17. What scrummy eiderdowns, and the RSPCA would love your stamps - I know that, thanks to Lesley here Snuggle in your blanket with a hot chocolate - Monday is done, I hope your form is done too or looks manageable today. A problem (or bad day) shared is a problem halved. Jill

  18. I have to say I'm overwhelmed with all your messages of support. I haven't managed to do the form today but I certainly feel as if I've been cyber hugged! I'll try to get it done tomorrow! With all of you urging me on it would be rude not to!

  19. A big cyber hug from me too, hun!!! It can only get better! Somedays you feel as if you should have stayed in bed!!!
    Will you be doing the next V&H fair at Northampton?

    Sharon xx

  20. Sorry to hear your not having a good time at work, I went through a similar thing last year and I know what you are going through. It was the worst 6 months of my working life.
    My mantra would be, keep going, stay positive, beleive in yourself and try and keep calm. We all have our wobbles, it's ok were aloud.
    Love your eiderdowns, where do you get them from? I desperatly want one and can't find one anywhere.Any top eiderdown huntingb tips you have would be most appreciated.
    Chin up, thinking of you.
    Luv Sophie xxx
    ps please excuse my spelling, it's been a really long day xxx

  21. I hope you are feeling a bit better today. What a rubbishy old day and a not very nice work situation to be in. I hope the end result is favourable for you.
    Love all those eiderdowns!
    Take care
    Lisa x

  22. Grrrrrrrrr, Roar, Raaargh!
    Phew, that's better! Good for you, expressing the frustration is all good in my book, helps you to move on in your mind, no good surpressing things I say!
    So, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr :D

    Love Sarah x

    Fingers and toes crossed for you x

  23. Now I've read this I think it was even kinder of you to come round and say something nice to me. I hope the job works out.

  24. Oh dear - are you feeling better yet? For application form read accounts in my case. Any displacement activity rather than columns of figures. But how awful to have to apply. I'm sure it makes you want to tell them what to do with the job ... if only ...

    Lots of good vibes being sent your way.

    Sue x

  25. Oh dear, poor you. I hope things have improved for you and that you are feeling much better.

  26. Hello Wend,
    Just remember that what happened yesterday or today doesn't define what happens tomorrow. On the worst days of all I go to bed early - although NOT with such gorgeous eiderdowns - so that I can shake off that day and start again tomorrow.
    Good luck with your application form - it is always good to take time to concentrate on achievements and skills - they got lost too easily in the routine of everyday life.

  27. Ay up wend,

    I feel so bad now, your always here to support me, I didn't realise how awful your sunday had been (knowing you so well, I could just see your face when the dinner fell off the dish Sorry it did make me giggle in a nice way though)
    I think you are so lucky to have all these lovely people caring about you.

    lots of love as always
    Marianne xxxx
    See I have done it at last i'm blogging