Friday, 4 November 2011

Unwanted item in the bagging area...come back Niobe!

With massive queues in Sainsburys I was persuaded by the self service monitor to try the DIY till. This was with a heavy heart. I have on several ocaasions embarrassed Niobe with my performance at these checkouts and she has banned me from using them saying its not fair to others! I must not use them unless she is there to supervise!

I only had a basket with a few bits so decided to take the chance and live dangerously. As ever despite my efforts the robotized tones came across with the "unwanted item in the bagging area" not once but several times. The gent who had persuaded me was very attentive and kept rushing back to me every time this happened. "Don't worry I'm with you" he kept saying and swiping his magic card across the screen. Mortified I continued with my efforts, becoming more and more grumpy. "God, you must have the patience of a saint hearing that noise all day" I grumbled as I tried desperately to find a barcode. "Why do you think they gave me the job?" he said. I paused and looked up to see he was wearing a clerical collar. Oh, the embarassment! I apologised, paid and scuttled out quickly, inwardly vowing not to use these checkouts again. They do do away with jobs for people after all don't they? I was relieved to get home and unpacked.

Have a great weekend!

PS - Moonlighting clergy as the austerity cuts start to hit?


  1. Lovely story.I avoid those self checkouts too,and there seem to be more appearing in our local supermarket.I try to shop in the small locals when I can. :0)

  2. I have to say i really feel for you they can be a right pain in the bottom but good if your in a hurry and or don't wish to make small talk with a checkout assistant. They are very sensitive and there is a knack for using them once you get it they are very quick. Have a lovely weekend, dee x

  3. I am another one who seems to cause chaos when I use them.............

  4. I hate those self serv tills - I seem to set off all the alarms and it takes longer to buy 4 things than a whole trolley load!

  5. This really made me smile - I hate the self service checkout too!!

    I always end up talking to it thus:

    "unexpected item in the bagging area" no there isnt you stupid thing

    "have you swiped your nectar card" no not yet you impatient imbecile

    "please take your card" pity you didnt say that when my husband forgot to pick his up after using one of your cousins in Tesco and then lost it. Just before a holiday weekend.

    Yes - I am cracking up lol! But then I am a teacher so I am entitled to do so I think....

    Have a lovely weekend!


  6. I have to admit that using these checkouts results in my language becoming borderline Gordon Ramsey! I don't think the Vicar would like me!! What on earth was he doing working in a supermarket? xx

  7. Me too i hate these machines with a passion and unlike the polite commentor before me they do make me swear, a lot, naughty words albeit under my breath. I too manage much better when I have a daughter to assist me. Hope to see you soon at Cosy Night at Hope and Elvis Louise and I were going through 'order of service' keeping it clerical he - and she mentioned you were joining in. Last time was great fun.

  8. Oh Wend we must all be the same .... I said I would never use one because it does some poor person out of a job but have succumbed in our Tesco Express .... not so express when I'm there though! I find myself talking to the bliddy thing and telling the stupid woman off! xx

  9. My ex-boss was a catholic priest in his 'other' job!

    I hate those self service tills too and would rather queue for ages than use one lol.

  10. Wend, I'm with you. I give those self serve tills a wide berth. Whenever I use them something goes wrong so I empathise and know exactly how you feel. I never knew vicars were allowed to moonlight and do second jobs.You live and learn but this was a hoot and gave me a good laugh. Thanks!

  11. geez....a priest still wouldn't curb the foulmouthed expletives i involuntary utter when in the presence of said machinery . i reckon they deserve it ...