Tense times table
Once tense is tense
Twice tense is too tense
Three tense is quite stressed
Four tense is fraught
Five tense is frightening
Six tense is tightening
Seven tense is distressed
Eight tense is taut
Nine tense is intense
Ten tense is uptight
Eleven tense - keep your distance
Twelve tense just might...
Thirteen tense - RIGHT! THAT'S IT!
I've had it up to here with your tense times
table, it's not a proper poem it's not a proper
times table and that's the last time you make
me make a fool of myself in public...
(continue ranting indefinitely, then
fade and look sheepish)